This week I added a year to my stay on earth. It has been a nice 56 years walking around here hanging out with God and this pretty cool creation. With further reflection I realize however that I have spent far too much time worrying about the journey.
A year ago I was living out my car from vacation rental to vacation rental in the Southwest United States on a road trip with no real place to call home. Now I am buying towels and toilet paper and settling into my forever home. I am disappointed that I had not reached a greater state of trust in the road ahead of me and that I allowed at times that creepy sneaky voice to at times rain on my parade. You know the one, the one that tells you to worry all the way home about getting a flat tire. I have finally come to the realization that when life is closest to perfection for me I am in a state of observing it, witnessing and experiencing the events as they take place not having them confine me.
I now stand face to face with the future and realize I have absolutely no idea what it will bring, it is way too complex to understanding the orchestrated synchronicity of events that got me to today. So instead I have chosen to see my life as a spectator sport and like my good friend Barbara Mayer (Author of Beyond Religion) reminds me, we are really only “pedestrians”.
I am a spiritual warrior, yes and I am on the “path” to wherever spiritual people are going but I am done with the search for my life purpose because I have finally found it !!! So…..drum roll please…..my life purpose is……..I SHOWED UP. What a relief to get THAT out of the way.
Continuing to ask this question of myself was like asking, what is my purpose of being at a rock concert? You are there to experience it, hear, see and smell it. The reality is that I bought a ticket to earth, I screamed my way through the birth canal and took my first steps. I packed my book bag on the first day of school, I walked down the aisle and spread my husband’s ashes to mention a few of the significant moments but these are all experiences of life that add up to purpose.
My ups and downs are the ingredients for pure consciousness and even though my thoughts at times are like ants at the picnic they can be managed into a tidy existence and actually contribute to creating a pretty nice place to hang out while I am here. There will be pitfalls ahead but I will remember that achieving perfection means I have to leave and for now I kinda like it around here. So, will hit the power button on my remote control, sit back and watch my life unfold from now on the big screen and the next time when I sit under the stars and ponder why I am here I will just watch the show and not fast forward to spoil the ending.